If Peter pepper picked a post of posted peppers, Where's the post of pickled peppers Peter pepper posted?

Hot Sauce Review 1: An Exploratory Dip!!!!1

As a smart person once said: "whenever i order spicy food (i love extremely spicy food!) at a restaurant, or for take out, i find it hard to make them aware of how spicy i want it. they always ask: how spicy do you want it? and you're supposed to say if you want mild, medium or spicy. but ive found in the past that if you say spicy, they will usually lowball it. its a judgement call, on their part. so to be sure that they really give it to me, I'll say 'I want to be in pain, please, let me suffer from the spice. I like spicy food, i want to be crying and screaming while eating it, dont hold back' usually theyll go quiet after that (lol) but i have found that this approach gives the best results the most often. i really enjoy eating food so spicy that your whole mouth goes numb and it feels like you might vomit. its an amazing feeling and you cant get it by ordering 'spicy'"

In that vein, I decided that my normal hot sauce (Frank's RedHot) was not red hot enough, and did some cursory research on hot sauces so as to expand my spicy tastes. In order from right to left, they are: El Yucateco green chile habanero sauce https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FPCMM86/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Heartbeat hot sauce's pineapple habanero sauce https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07XPD9B3C/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 yellowbird's ghost pepper condiment https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XX4R3GX/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 and secret aardvark habanero hot sauce https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00SXTB0AY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1. In this review, I will describe each hot sauce, which I sampled using a potato chip, and then I will give a rating out of ten to both the spiciness and the flavor of each sauce. 10 would be the ideal red hot spiciness and the most interesting/ well integrated flavor, and 1 would be the most rank, undesirable garbage taste and spiciness like water. 

First is El Yucateco green Chile habanero sauce. This is definitely the spiciest of the lot, and hits towards the middle or late middle of the profile on the upper back palate. Herby base, salty, with a distinct green chile tendency. Really good. Spice  7/10 flavor 7/10

Heartbeat hot sauce pineapple habanero. Pineapple is the strong flavor here, but it melts well with the rest of the profile and doesn’t feel disjointed. Sweet and juicy with mild tongue spiciness that hits a little after swallowing. Probably the least spicy of the four. It almost feels like just a sauce, not a hot sauce, but still with some spice. Spicy- 2/10 flavor - 8/10

Yellow bird ghost pepper condiment. Strong smoky flavor gives way to chile sweetness. Mild spice that begins to burn hard on repeated samplings. For being a ghost pepper sauce, it's surprisingly mild. Spice 5/10 flavor 7/10

Secret aardvark habanero hot sauce. Smoky, balanced tomato sweetness, barbecue sauce flavor. Feels like it would be good if combined with ketchup to form spicy ketchup. Controlled but insistent spice that hits the throat and back of hard palate. Spice 5/10, flavor 8/10

Of the four, I think the El Yucateco struck the best balance between spice and flavor, and was my favorite. All of the sauces had merit though, so I won't be choosing a least favorite today. The pineapple sauce was definitely a sweet surprise and had the most interesting taste profile of the four. Other two both had middling spice and middling flavor, but were enjoyable in their own ways. Take that for what you will. 

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